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Articles > The INFJ in Relationships

INFJ in Relationships

Most INFJs share a common interpersonal style and set of challenges.

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Most INFJs share a similar interpersonal style, and this style impacts most of their relationships, including those with friends, families, work colleagues, and romantic partners.

Your interpersonal style describes your social tendencies in terms of dominance, submissiveness, warmth, and coldness. This style impacts how you interact with others, and in turn, it can affect how they act around you.

The circular graph below shows the average interpersonal style of INFJs. The vertical, up-down axis shows their style in terms of dominance, with a highly assertive style at the top (Assured-Dominant) and a highly passive style at the bottom (Unassured-Submissive).

The horizontal, left-right axis shows their style in terms of warmth, with a cold and impersonal style on the left (Cold-Aggressive) and a friendly, empathetic manner on the right (Warm-Agreeable).

Typical interpersonal style of the INFJ
How the INFJ typically falls on common interpersonal dimensions

The shaded blue area shows the average interpersonal style of INFJs across eight dimensions. Notice the areas where the blue area extends closer to the outer edges of the circle. These are the aspects that most heavily influence INFJs’ interactions.

To summarize the graph above, three aspects most heavily influence INFJs’ interpersonal style:

Unassured-Submissive

  • INFJs have a strong sense of duty and obligation.
  • At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead.
  • INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due.
  • At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.

Aloof-Introverted

  • INFJs are realists who perceive things and people clearly, without being overly optimistic.
  • At their best, INFJs are practical skeptics who are comfortable holding and sharing unorthodox, unpopular views.
  • INFJs may be too skeptical and suspicious, and they may have difficulty trusting others.
  • At their worst, INFJs can struggle to make new friends and socialize, and have a hard time showing affection and admiration for others.

Warm-Agreeable

  • INFJs often agree, trust, and cooperate with others.
  • At their best, INFJs are friendly, affectionate, and bring out the warmth and sympathy in others.
  • INFJs may be too agreeable and quick to compromise.
  • At their worst, INFJs may seek approval and agreement too much, and be dependent on the approval of other people.
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