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ISFJ and Enneagram Type 3 Compatibility: Relationships, Friendships, and Partnerships

How compatible are the ISFJ and Enneagram Type 3 patterns of communicating, feeling, and thinking?

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In this article, you’ll find comparisons of two personality types — ISFJs and the Enneagram Type 3s — across four important personality domains: Interpersonal/Communication Style, Emotional Style, Intellectual Style, and Organizational Style.

TraitLab collected data about personality traits from thousands of participants who identified as a particular type from the 16 Personality or Enneagram typology.

For each comparison area below, you’ll see show the average similarities and differences between ISFJs and Type 3s. While these comparisons are useful for understanding broad trends across these types, it’s important to remember that all personality types are oversimplifications. For an assessment of your unique personality, you’ll want to use an assessment that goes beyond single personality types.

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ISFJ and Type 3 Interpersonal and Communication Styles

Your particular style of communicating and interacting with others can be described fairly well by two dimensions: assertiveness and warmth.

Assertiveness describes your tendency to assert yourself, lead, and influence others in social situations, while warmth describes your tendencies to empathize and put others’ needs ahead of your own.

People with the same personality type often share some similarities in assertiveness and warmth. In the graph below, you can see where most ISFJs and most Type 3s fall along both of these dimensions.

First, take a look at where people in each type, on average, fall in this interpersonal space.

Enneagram ISFJ and Type 3 comparison across interpersonal dimensions
A comparison of Enneagram ISFJs and Type 3s along interpersonal dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ISFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ISFJs fall in interpersonal space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 3s.

ISFJs often respect others, conform to expectations, and ask for guidance. At their best, they are loyal and reliable, and encourage others to guide and help. ISFJs may be overly clingy, gullible, and have difficulty expressing anger, even when appropriate. At their worst, they will try to please others too much, put others’ needs ahead of their own, and allow others to take advantage of them.

Type 3s often manage, direct, and try to lead others. At their best, they provide guidance and leadership, and naturally command respect. Type 3s may be domineering, forceful, or overly direct. At their worst, they can be overbearing and micromanaging.

One notable difference between many ISFJs and most Type 3s is in your interpersonal warmth. Like many ISFJs, you are more likely on the warmer, friendlier, more empathetic side of the spectrum. Compared to you and other ISFJs, Type 3s’ interpersonal style can sometimes feel distant, cold, and uninterested in your wants and needs.

Another important difference between you and most Type 3s is in your relative assertiveness or passivity in social situations. Like many ISFJs, you are often on the more passive, reserved side of the spectrum. In some cases, this is a perfect compliment to Type 3s’ more dominant, assertive style, and the two of you can make an effective team. However, you may find that you need to put extra effort into making your opinions heard when working with Type 3s.

ISFJ and Type 3 Emotional Styles

Another characteristic of your personality is your emotional style — your tendencies towards different kinds of moods. There are two dimensions that influence emotional style: arousal and valence.

Arousal describes your relative energy level across different situations. Those with high baseline levels of arousal tend to be generally more alert, active, and engaged, while those with a lower baseline are more reserved, subdued, and inhibited.

Valence describes whether these moods tend to be positive (pleasant) or negative (unpleasant). People with a more positively valenced style are more likely to experience emotions like joy, enthusiasm, satisfaction, and serenity. People with a more negatively valenced style are more likely to experience sadness, frustration, dissatisfaction, and anxiety.

The graph below shows where each type, on average, usually sits in this emotional space.

ISFJ and Type 3 comparison across emotional (affective) dimensions
A comparison of ISFJs and Type 3s along emotional (or affective) dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ISFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ISFJs fall in interpersonal space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 3s.

ISFJs have a tendency to be quiet and inhibited. Compared to most people, they can easily drift into gloom and melancholy. They see the glass as half-empty and have a more skeptical outlook and a hesitant approach to life. For better or worse, ISFJs tend to notice the negatives in most situations. In stressful times, they are more likely to withdraw quietly and retreat inward, rather than share their frustration with others.

Type 3s tend to be energetic and enthusiastic across most situations. They take on new challenges with excitement, confidence, and a sense of adventure. Type 3s are usually more optimistic than most people, and they generally feel like they can handle what life throws at them.

As with most ISFJs, you tend to be more reserved, inhibited, and quiet than most Type 3s. Between the two of you, you are more likely to need more personal space, solitude, and time to decompress. While you can tolerate long periods of calm and quiet, your Type 3 counterparts often craves more engagement and excitement. In the best cases, a Type 3 can pull you out of your comfort zone and get you out into the world, while your quiet nature helps to balance out their intensity.

Another difference between ISFJs and Type 3s in their typical emotional valence, or their tendencies towards positive and negative emotions. You and most ISFJs tend to fall on the more negative side. Compared to most Type 3s, you and most ISFJs typically experience more negative emotions like sadness, worry, frustration, and impatience. Type 3s have the opposite pattern, and they tend to gravitate toward positive emotions like enthusiasm, joy, and contentment.

These emotional differences can be subtle, but they may color how ISFJs and Type 3s process new information. You and most ISFJs are quicker to see the negatives and consider what could go wrong, while Type 3s might receive the same news with excitement and optimism.

ISFJ and Type 3 Intellectual Styles

Your intellectual style describes how you receive, process, and pursue different kinds of information. Differences in intellectual style are captured well by two dimensions: ideas and aesthetics.

Ideas describes your appetite for new information and your interest in complex, challenging material. People high on the ideas dimension have an appreciation for complexity and technical details. People lower on ideas are less interested in learning for learning’s sake, and they prefer to simplify complex topics down to the essential details.

Aesthetics captures your relative interest and sensitivity to aesthetic information and its emotional impact. People higher on the aesthetics dimension usually have strong artistic interests and a deep appreciation for beauty in many forms. Those lower on aesthetics tend to value practical application over artistic merit and usually adhere to more conventional standards of beauty.

In the graph below, you’ll see where ISFJs and Type 3s, on average, fall in this intellectual space.

ISFJ and Type 3 comparison across intellectual dimensions
A comparison of ISFJs and Type 3s along intellectual dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ISFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ISFJs fall in intellectual space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 3s.

ISFJs are practical realists. They focus on building practical skills and essential knowledge and are less likely to spend time learning for learning’s sake. In addition, they usually value conventional, tangible accomplishments over artistic expression and rarely feel compelled to develop a creative outlet.

Type 3s are usually highly effective, efficient thinkers, capable of processing large amounts of complex information and distilling it down to its most useful elements. They are pragmatic and grounded and prefer to apply their knowledge to conventional, practical pursuits.

Like most ISFJs, you are less interested in learning purely for learning’s sake, compared to most Type 3s. You’d prefer to focus on the essentials and the practical issues at hand, while your Type 3 counterpart typically wants to dig deeper and understand the bigger picture. In conversations, you may find that your Type 3 partner often gets caught up in theoretical or abstract details, and you need to bring them back down to earth.

Likewise, ISFJs and Type 3s share an appreciation for practical, tangible accomplishments over artistic expression. ISFJs and Type 3s are both likely to embrace conventional ways of thinking, and both types are more skeptical of eccentric or unusual approaches to solving problems.

ISFJ and Type 3 Organizational Styles

Your organizational style describes your habits around organization and planning. Your organizational style influences how you structure your time and physical space. Differences in organizational style fall along two dimensions: industriousness and orderliness.

Industriousness describes your persistence, need for achievement, and intensity of focus. People higher on industriousness usually organize their behavior around a few important long-term goals. People lower on industriousness are usually more focused on the present and will more easily change their focus when new opportunities appear.

Orderliness describes your need for regularity, order, and structure in your environment. People higher on orderliness prefer tidy, organized physical spaces, detailed schedules, and reliable routines. People lower on orderliness can tolerate more disorganization and prefer a more spontaneous, unstructured approach.

The graph below shows the average position of ISFJs and Type 3s along these dimensions of organizational style.

ISFJ and Type 3 comparison across organizational dimensions
A comparison of ISFJs and Type 3s along organizational dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ISFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ISFJs fall in organizational space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 3s.

Most ISFJs and Type 3s share a similar organizational style.

ISFJs and Type 3s are usually systematic and highly organized. They like setting big, long-term goals and then creating detailed plans to accomplish them. ISFJs and Type 3s are generally good at ignoring distractions and making steady progress through consistent routines and habits.

As a ISFJ, you and most Type 3s share a natural drive to achieve and perform at a high level. Both of you enjoy setting goals and pushing yourselves to accomplish them, and you likely share an interest in self-improvement and productivity strategies. As a result, you and your Type 3 counterpart can fuel each other’s ambition and keep each other accountable as you work towards your long-term goals. However, between the two of you, nobody usually reminds you to slow down and enjoy the present.

Similarly, ISFJs and Type 3s tend to be neat, tidy, and organized. You both rely on high amounts of structure and routine and compared to most people, you have lower tolerances for messiness and disorder. With a few exceptions, both of you stick closely to most social conventions and feel uncomfortable straying from them.

How to Identify Your Personality Types

Most people have complex personalities, and they don’t fit perfectly into a single personality type.

With TraitLab’s comprehensive analyses of your traits, strengths, and interests, you can see how your personality compares to every type from the Enneagram and 16 Personality typologies. Start building your personality profile by creating a free account today.

ISFJ Compatibility with Other Enneagram Types

For comparisons between ISFJs and other Enneagram types, visit any of the type pairings below:

Enneagram Type 3 Compatibility with Other 16 Personality Types

For comparisons between Type 3s and other types from the 16 Personality typology, visit any of the pairings below:

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