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Articles > The INTP in Relationships

INTP in Relationships

Most INTPs share a common interpersonal style and set of challenges.

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Most INTPs share a similar interpersonal style, and this style impacts most of their relationships, including those with friends, families, work colleagues, and romantic partners.

Your interpersonal style describes your social tendencies in terms of dominance, submissiveness, warmth, and coldness. This style impacts how you interact with others, and in turn, it can affect how they act around you.

The circular graph below shows the average interpersonal style of INTPs. The vertical, up-down axis shows their style in terms of dominance, with a highly assertive style at the top (Assured-Dominant) and a highly passive style at the bottom (Unassured-Submissive).

The horizontal, left-right axis shows their style in terms of warmth, with a cold and impersonal style on the left (Cold-Aggressive) and a friendly, empathetic manner on the right (Warm-Agreeable).

Typical interpersonal style of the INTP
How the INTP typically falls on common interpersonal dimensions

The shaded blue area shows the average interpersonal style of INTPs across eight dimensions. Notice the areas where the blue area extends closer to the outer edges of the circle. These are the aspects that most heavily influence INTPs’ interactions.

To summarize the graph above, three aspects most heavily influence INTPs’ interpersonal style:

Cold-Aggressive

  • INTPs are forthright, firm, and speak their mind directly.
  • At their best, INTPs are fiercely independent and unaffected by the thoughts and opinions of others.
  • INTPs may be harsh, frank, or insensitive in their criticism of others.
  • At their worst, INTPs can be overly aggressive and too eager to fight and argue with others.

Aloof-Introverted

  • INTPs are realists who perceive things and people clearly, without being overly optimistic.
  • At their best, INTPs are practical skeptics who are comfortable holding and sharing unorthodox, unpopular views.
  • INTPs may be too skeptical and suspicious, and they may have difficulty trusting others.
  • At their worst, INTPs can struggle to make new friends and socialize, and have a hard time showing affection and admiration for others.

Competitive-Calculating

  • INTPs are assertive, competitive, and like a good challenge.
  • At their best, INTPs are bold and confident leaders who are willing to take unpopular action.
  • INTPs may be overly proud, boisterous, and willing to manipulate others to achieve their goals.
  • At their worst, INTPs can be narcissistic, overly focused on their own needs, and lack empathy for others.
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