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Enneagram Type 3 and Type 5 Compatibility: Relationships, Friendships, and Partnerships

How compatible are the Enneagram Type 3 and Type 5 patterns of communicating, feeling, and thinking?

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In this article, you’ll find comparisons of two Enneagram types — Type 3s and Type 5s — across four important personality domains: Interpersonal/Communication Style, Emotional Style, Intellectual Style, and Organizational Style.

TraitLab collected data about personality traits from thousands of participants who identified as a single Enneagram type.

For each comparison area below, you’ll see show the average similarities and differences between Type 3s and Type 5s. While these comparisons are useful for understanding broad trends across these types, it’s important to remember that all personality types are oversimplifications. For an assessment of your unique personality, you’ll want to use an assessment that goes beyond single personality types.

To learn more about how this typology relates to personality traits, you’ll want to read Enneagram and Big Five Personality Traits.

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Type 3 and Type 5 Interpersonal and Communication Styles

Your particular style of communicating and interacting with others can be described fairly well by two dimensions: assertiveness and warmth.

Assertiveness describes your tendency to assert yourself, lead, and influence others in social situations, while warmth describes your tendencies to empathize and put others’ needs ahead of your own.

People with the same personality type often share some similarities in assertiveness and warmth. In the graph below, you can see where most Type 3s and most Type 5s fall along both of these dimensions.

First, take a look at where people in each type, on average, fall in this interpersonal space.

Enneagram Type 3 and Type 5 comparison across interpersonal dimensions
A comparison of Enneagram Type 3s and Type 5s along interpersonal dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of Type 3s, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of Type 3s fall in interpersonal space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 5s.

Type 3s often manage, direct, and try to lead others. At their best, they provide guidance and leadership, and naturally command respect. Type 3s may be domineering, forceful, or overly direct. At their worst, they can be overbearing and micromanaging.

Type 5s are forthright, firm, and speak their mind directly. At their best, they are fiercely independent and unaffected by the thoughts and opinions of others. Type 5s may be harsh, frank, or insensitive in their criticism of others. At their worst, they can be overly aggressive and too eager to fight and argue with others.

One aspect that Type 3s like you and many Type 5s have in common in your relative comfort around interpersonal conflict and disagreements. Both Type 3s and Type 5s are both likely to focus on their own point of view and goals, even if it leads to some interpersonal tension.

One important difference between you and most Type 5s is in your relative assertiveness and dominance in social situations. Like many Type 3s, you tend to be on the more assertive side and feel comfortable taking charge and making decisions. Often, this pairs well with Type 5s more reserved and passive style, but you’ll want to be careful about being overly domineering, forceful, or direct. Unlike you, Type 5s may need additional time and space to share their thoughts and ideas.

Type 3 and Type 5 Emotional Styles

Another characteristic of your personality is your emotional style — your tendencies towards different kinds of moods. There are two dimensions that influence emotional style: arousal and valence.

Arousal describes your relative energy level across different situations. Those with high baseline levels of arousal tend to be generally more alert, active, and engaged, while those with a lower baseline are more reserved, subdued, and inhibited.

Valence describes whether these moods tend to be positive (pleasant) or negative (unpleasant). People with a more positively valenced style are more likely to experience emotions like joy, enthusiasm, satisfaction, and serenity. People with a more negatively valenced style are more likely to experience sadness, frustration, dissatisfaction, and anxiety.

The graph below shows where each type, on average, usually sits in this emotional space.

Type 3 and Type 5 comparison across emotional (affective) dimensions
A comparison of Type 3s and Type 5s along emotional (or affective) dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of Type 3s, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of Type 3s fall in interpersonal space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 5s.

Type 3s tend to be energetic and enthusiastic across most situations. They take on new challenges with excitement, confidence, and a sense of adventure. Type 3s are usually more optimistic than most people, and they generally feel like they can handle what life throws at them.

Type 5s tend to be reserved, laid-back, and content. They often see the glass as half-full, confident that things will eventually work out for the best. Type 5s typically respond to challenges with quiet optimism and rarely become overwhelmed when things get difficult. When their efforts fail, they calmly dust themselves off and try again.

As with most Type 3s, you tend to have a higher baseline energy level than most Type 5s. Between the two of you, you are more likely to seek out engaging activities — perhaps social events, outdoor adventures, or a new class, depending on your interests. However, you may find that most Type 5s do not share your enthusiasm and excitement. In general, you likely crave stimulation more than your Type 5 counterparts, and balancing your different appetites for excitement can be an ongoing challenge.

However, both Type 3s and Type 5s are generally more positive than negative. They are more likely to express enthusiasm, satisfaction, happiness, and other positive emotions across most situations. Like everyone else, they occasionally experience negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, and anger, but they soon return to their usual pleasant state. Together, Type 3s and Type 5s tend to share an optimistic outlook and a resilience to stress.

Type 3 and Type 5 Intellectual Styles

Your intellectual style describes how you receive, process, and pursue different kinds of information. Differences in intellectual style are captured well by two dimensions: ideas and aesthetics.

Ideas describes your appetite for new information and your interest in complex, challenging material. People high on the ideas dimension have an appreciation for complexity and technical details. People lower on ideas are less interested in learning for learning’s sake, and they prefer to simplify complex topics down to the essential details.

Aesthetics captures your relative interest and sensitivity to aesthetic information and its emotional impact. People higher on the aesthetics dimension usually have strong artistic interests and a deep appreciation for beauty in many forms. Those lower on aesthetics tend to value practical application over artistic merit and usually adhere to more conventional standards of beauty.

In the graph below, you’ll see where Type 3s and Type 5s, on average, fall in this intellectual space.

Type 3 and Type 5 comparison across intellectual dimensions
A comparison of Type 3s and Type 5s along intellectual dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of Type 3s, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of Type 3s fall in intellectual space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 5s.

Type 3s are usually highly effective, efficient thinkers, capable of processing large amounts of complex information and distilling it down to its most useful elements. They are pragmatic and grounded and prefer to apply their knowledge to conventional, practical pursuits.

Type 5s tend to be deep thinkers — bright, curious, and philosophical. They are highly receptive to new ideas and drawn to complex, abstract concepts. Type 5s enjoy taking in large amounts of information and typically have one or more creative outlets.

As a Type 3, you and many Type 5s share a love of learning new, challenging ideas. You both appreciate complexity and nuance, and the two of you can spend hours discussing and debating a wide range of topics. When you are together, you often elevate the conversation to a more theoretical, philosophical level.

Another difference between Type 3s and Type 5s is their relative interest in aesthetic, artistic, and emotional experiences. As a Type 3, you tend to be more practical and focused on tangible results, while your Type 5 counterpart is more likely to be drawn into the emotional and artistic aspects of an experience. In addition, Type 3s and Type 5s often differ in their receptivity to unconventional and eccentric ways of thinking. Like many Type 3s, you often lean towards well-worn, conventional approaches and view new alternatives with healthy skepticism. In contrast, Type 5s are quicker to do away with convention and embrace a new approach.

Type 3 and Type 5 Organizational Styles

Your organizational style describes your habits around organization and planning. Your organizational style influences how you structure your time and physical space. Differences in organizational style fall along two dimensions: industriousness and orderliness.

Industriousness describes your persistence, need for achievement, and intensity of focus. People higher on industriousness usually organize their behavior around a few important long-term goals. People lower on industriousness are usually more focused on the present and will more easily change their focus when new opportunities appear.

Orderliness describes your need for regularity, order, and structure in your environment. People higher on orderliness prefer tidy, organized physical spaces, detailed schedules, and reliable routines. People lower on orderliness can tolerate more disorganization and prefer a more spontaneous, unstructured approach.

The graph below shows the average position of Type 3s and Type 5s along these dimensions of organizational style.

Type 3 and Type 5 comparison across organizational dimensions
A comparison of Type 3s and Type 5s along organizational dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of Type 3s, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of Type 3s fall in organizational space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 5s.

Most Type 3s and Type 5s share a similar organizational style.

Type 3s and Type 5s are usually systematic and highly organized. They like setting big, long-term goals and then creating detailed plans to accomplish them. Type 3s and Type 5s are generally good at ignoring distractions and making steady progress through consistent routines and habits.

As a Type 3, you and most Type 5s share a natural drive to achieve and perform at a high level. Both of you enjoy setting goals and pushing yourselves to accomplish them, and you likely share an interest in self-improvement and productivity strategies. As a result, you and your Type 5 counterpart can fuel each other’s ambition and keep each other accountable as you work towards your long-term goals. However, between the two of you, nobody usually reminds you to slow down and enjoy the present.

Similarly, Type 3s and Type 5s tend to be neat, tidy, and organized. You both rely on high amounts of structure and routine and compared to most people, you have lower tolerances for messiness and disorder. With a few exceptions, both of you stick closely to most social conventions and feel uncomfortable straying from them.

How to identify your most similar Enneagram type

Most people have complex personalities and can’t be described perfectly by a single Enneagram type.

With TraitLab’s comprehensive analyses of your traits, strengths, and interests, you can see how your personality compares to all nine Enneagram types. Start building your personality profile by creating a free account today.

Enneagram Type 3 compatibility with other types

For comparisons between Type 3s and other Enneagram types, visit any of the type pairings below:

Enneagram Type 3 Compatibility with Other 16 Personality Types

For comparisons between Type 3s and other types from the 16 Personality typology, visit any of the pairings below:

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