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ESFP and Enneagram Type 3 Compatibility: Relationships, Friendships, and Partnerships

How compatible are the ESFP and Enneagram Type 3 patterns of communicating, feeling, and thinking?

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A photo of the author, Gregory Park, Ph.D.

Gregory Park, Ph.D.

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In this article, you’ll find comparisons of two personality types — ESFPs and the Enneagram Type 3s — across four important personality domains: Interpersonal/Communication Style, Emotional Style, Intellectual Style, and Organizational Style.

TraitLab collected data about personality traits from thousands of participants who identified as a particular type from the 16 Personality or Enneagram typology.

For each comparison area below, you’ll see show the average similarities and differences between ESFPs and Type 3s. While these comparisons are useful for understanding broad trends across these types, it’s important to remember that all personality types are oversimplifications. For an assessment of your unique personality, you’ll want to use an assessment that goes beyond single personality types.

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ESFP and Type 3 Interpersonal and Communication Styles

Your particular style of communicating and interacting with others can be described fairly well by two dimensions: assertiveness and warmth.

Assertiveness describes your tendency to assert yourself, lead, and influence others in social situations, while warmth describes your tendencies to empathize and put others’ needs ahead of your own.

People with the same personality type often share some similarities in assertiveness and warmth. In the graph below, you can see where most ESFPs and most Type 3s fall along both of these dimensions.

First, take a look at where people in each type, on average, fall in this interpersonal space.

Enneagram ESFP and Type 3 comparison across interpersonal dimensions
A comparison of Enneagram ESFPs and Type 3s along interpersonal dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ESFPs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ESFPs fall in interpersonal space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 3s.

ESFPs often support, openly sympathize, and actively offer help to others At their best, they are gentle sympathizers, who are easily trusted and accepted. ESFPs may be overly revealing and have difficulty being alone. At their worst, they can require too much attention and admiration from others and be excessively involved in the affairs of others.

Type 3s often manage, direct, and try to lead others. At their best, they provide guidance and leadership, and naturally command respect. Type 3s may be domineering, forceful, or overly direct. At their worst, they can be overbearing and micromanaging.

One notable difference between many ESFPs and most Type 3s is in your interpersonal warmth. Like many ESFPs, you are more likely on the warmer, friendlier, more empathetic side of the spectrum. Compared to you and other ESFPs, Type 3s’ interpersonal style can sometimes feel distant, cold, and uninterested in your wants and needs.

However, you and most Type 3s both tend to be more assertive and dominant in social situations. You are both managing, directing, and leading others, and feel comfortable taking the lead. This may lead you to butt heads with some Type 3s, because at times, you can both be domineering or overly direct.

ESFP and Type 3 Emotional Styles

Another characteristic of your personality is your emotional style — your tendencies towards different kinds of moods. There are two dimensions that influence emotional style: arousal and valence.

Arousal describes your relative energy level across different situations. Those with high baseline levels of arousal tend to be generally more alert, active, and engaged, while those with a lower baseline are more reserved, subdued, and inhibited.

Valence describes whether these moods tend to be positive (pleasant) or negative (unpleasant). People with a more positively valenced style are more likely to experience emotions like joy, enthusiasm, satisfaction, and serenity. People with a more negatively valenced style are more likely to experience sadness, frustration, dissatisfaction, and anxiety.

The graph below shows where each type, on average, usually sits in this emotional space.

ESFP and Type 3 comparison across emotional (affective) dimensions
A comparison of ESFPs and Type 3s along emotional (or affective) dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ESFPs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ESFPs fall in interpersonal space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 3s.

ESFPs tend to be tense, concerned, and vigilant in many situations. They usually have a pessimistic outlook and are often looking for what could go wrong next. ESFPs are highly active and tend to juggle many tasks. When things go wrong, this energy can turn into frustration and impatience, and they are more likely to express their dissatisfaction to others.

Type 3s tend to be energetic and enthusiastic across most situations. They take on new challenges with excitement, confidence, and a sense of adventure. Type 3s are usually more optimistic than most people, and they generally feel like they can handle what life throws at them.

Like most ESFPs, you and many Type 3s share a relatively high energy level. You both prefer to be in motion, actively engaged in something interesting, rather than sitting back and observing. In the best case, the two of you feed off the other’s energy and excitement, and there’s rarely a quiet moment when you’re together.

One difference between ESFPs and Type 3s in their typical emotional valence, or their tendencies towards positive and negative emotions. You and most ESFPs tend to fall on the more negative side. Compared to most Type 3s, you and most ESFPs typically experience more negative emotions like sadness, worry, frustration, and impatience. Type 3s have the opposite pattern, and they tend to gravitate toward positive emotions like enthusiasm, joy, and contentment.

These emotional differences can be subtle, but they may color how ESFPs and Type 3s process new information. You and most ESFPs are quicker to see the negatives and consider what could go wrong, while Type 3s might receive the same news with excitement and optimism.

ESFP and Type 3 Intellectual Styles

Your intellectual style describes how you receive, process, and pursue different kinds of information. Differences in intellectual style are captured well by two dimensions: ideas and aesthetics.

Ideas describes your appetite for new information and your interest in complex, challenging material. People high on the ideas dimension have an appreciation for complexity and technical details. People lower on ideas are less interested in learning for learning’s sake, and they prefer to simplify complex topics down to the essential details.

Aesthetics captures your relative interest and sensitivity to aesthetic information and its emotional impact. People higher on the aesthetics dimension usually have strong artistic interests and a deep appreciation for beauty in many forms. Those lower on aesthetics tend to value practical application over artistic merit and usually adhere to more conventional standards of beauty.

In the graph below, you’ll see where ESFPs and Type 3s, on average, fall in this intellectual space.

ESFP and Type 3 comparison across intellectual dimensions
A comparison of ESFPs and Type 3s along intellectual dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ESFPs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ESFPs fall in intellectual space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 3s.

ESFPs are practical realists. They focus on building practical skills and essential knowledge and are less likely to spend time learning for learning’s sake. In addition, they usually value conventional, tangible accomplishments over artistic expression and rarely feel compelled to develop a creative outlet.

Type 3s are usually highly effective, efficient thinkers, capable of processing large amounts of complex information and distilling it down to its most useful elements. They are pragmatic and grounded and prefer to apply their knowledge to conventional, practical pursuits.

Like most ESFPs, you are less interested in learning purely for learning’s sake, compared to most Type 3s. You’d prefer to focus on the essentials and the practical issues at hand, while your Type 3 counterpart typically wants to dig deeper and understand the bigger picture. In conversations, you may find that your Type 3 partner often gets caught up in theoretical or abstract details, and you need to bring them back down to earth.

Likewise, ESFPs and Type 3s share an appreciation for practical, tangible accomplishments over artistic expression. ESFPs and Type 3s are both likely to embrace conventional ways of thinking, and both types are more skeptical of eccentric or unusual approaches to solving problems.

ESFP and Type 3 Organizational Styles

Your organizational style describes your habits around organization and planning. Your organizational style influences how you structure your time and physical space. Differences in organizational style fall along two dimensions: industriousness and orderliness.

Industriousness describes your persistence, need for achievement, and intensity of focus. People higher on industriousness usually organize their behavior around a few important long-term goals. People lower on industriousness are usually more focused on the present and will more easily change their focus when new opportunities appear.

Orderliness describes your need for regularity, order, and structure in your environment. People higher on orderliness prefer tidy, organized physical spaces, detailed schedules, and reliable routines. People lower on orderliness can tolerate more disorganization and prefer a more spontaneous, unstructured approach.

The graph below shows the average position of ESFPs and Type 3s along these dimensions of organizational style.

ESFP and Type 3 comparison across organizational dimensions
A comparison of ESFPs and Type 3s along organizational dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ESFPs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ESFPs fall in organizational space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for Type 3s.

ESFPs thrive in unstructured environments with fewer constraints and more room for improvisation and serendipity. They generally focus on enjoying the present rather than preparing for the future. ESFPs highly value spontaneity and the flexibility to change their mind, and they resist setting hard deadlines or rigid expectations.

Type 3s are usually systematic and highly organized. They like setting big, long-term goals and then creating detailed plans to accomplish them. Type 3s are generally good at ignoring distractions and making steady progress through consistent routines and habits.

Like many ESFPs, you and most Type 3 often differ in your need to achieve explicit goals and use your time productively. While you embrace the here and now, your Type 3 counterpart is often thinking about and planning for the future. When you are keeping your eyes out for new, interesting opportunities, Type 3s are usually working away with their heads down. This difference between your present-oriented mindset and their future-oriented one can create occasional tension. However, this difference also helps you balance the other out at times. Your Type 3 counterpart often needs you to break them out of their need for productivity and efficiency while they can provide you with additional focus and motivation.

A second difference between ESFPs and Type 3s is in their relative need for routine, structure, and order. You and most ESFPs are more comfortable with an unplanned, spontaneous approach to life, while your Type 3 counterpart often wants plans, schedules, and well-defined procedures. Type 3s thrive on routine and predictability, whereas ESFPs find the same level of organization to be overbearing and constraining. These differences in tidiness, punctuality, and comfortability with deviating from social expectations can be a consistent source of conflict between the two of you.

How to Identify Your Personality Types

Most people have complex personalities, and they don’t fit perfectly into a single personality type.

With TraitLab’s comprehensive analyses of your traits, strengths, and interests, you can see how your personality compares to every type from the Enneagram and 16 Personality typologies. Start building your personality profile by creating a free account today.

ESFP Compatibility with Other Enneagram Types

For comparisons between ESFPs and other Enneagram types, visit any of the type pairings below:

Enneagram Type 3 Compatibility with Other 16 Personality Types

For comparisons between Type 3s and other types from the 16 Personality typology, visit any of the pairings below:

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